Amusing Moments

So… I have a red (pretty much pinkish at this point) 2001 Toyota Tacoma Ext Cab truck. 4 Cylinder-so basically the little truck that could) But at least has 4W Drive. However, not even shift-on-the-fly, have to get out and turn the damn locks on the tires. No Beep-Beeps. No power door locks, windows, remote control door opener, among anything else remotely basic provisions on vehicles in the last twenty years.

Driving my hubby’s car the other day (which I do most of the time now since I work from home and go nowhere during the day so his car is always behind my truck in the driveway). His of course has all the tech (except 4W drive since its a car). I notice the little gas light come on…

…and I think to myself.. wow a little fill your tank suggester! I usually just have to cross myself like a Catholic Cardinal and hope I coast into a gas station on fumes and a prayer. This is awesome… and then a second later… also a little worrying. OMG! I almost had a panic attack. Was I going to make it to the gas station in time? I don’t need that stress in my life with a little fill your tank reminder. Obviously winging it on how much gas I have left has worked very well the last 15 years.

Stupid periods and their little fucking Totos.

Ok I don’t get it. As a woman I have to suffer the experience of periods. Ok. I literally bleed and can’t just die like I want to because of it’s happy cousin PAIN FROM THE FUCKING DEPTHS OF PURGATORY! I have to deal with the odd little shit-gibbons of weird and random FML symptoms.

Why the fuck do our boobs have include annoying symptoms to? It’s either painful throbbing like I need to breastfeed all the babies from Octo-mom. Or they just throb and if anything touches them I’ll set in on fire. Or, the latest fun. I have one nipple that is itching like I got attacked by a bunch of wasps. Just the one nipple. And just the tip. That’s it. Just one fucking nipple that makes me look like I’m a fucking monkey playing with herself because I have to scratch the shit out of it.

I want to rip the bitch off and send it back to “can’t adult/woman anymore” play land.

Thank you for playing…. carry on.